Friday, February 6, 2009

About Love...Did I married the right person?

Artikel ni mama dapat melalui email. Thanks to ita for sharing..
This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learnsomethingfrom here...Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve yourmarriage & relationship ...
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,'How do I know if I married the right person?'I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it'sweighingon your mind.Here's the answer.EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love withyour spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, andliked theiridiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was acompletelynatural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have toDO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it'shappening TO YOU.People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about theimagery of that __expression.It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and thensomething came along and happenedTO YOU.Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. Butafter a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades.It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phonecalls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome(when it happens), and your spouse'sidiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if youthinkabout your marriage, you willnotice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were inlove and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marrytheright person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on theeuphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire thatexperiencewith someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame theirspouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage forfulfillment.Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity isthemost obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. Itlieswithin it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someoneelse.You could.And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation afewyears later. Because (listen carefully to this):THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVERjust happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' itday in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor oflove.'Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, ittakesWISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specificthingsyou can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), thereare also laws for relationships.Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physicallystronger,certain habits in your relationshipWILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If youknow and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'love.Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.Remember this always:'Fate determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide whoyou let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

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